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There are a lot of new-age type thinkers out there saying that you can positively think yourself into any situation you want. While I firmly believe a positive attitude will take you far in life, I cringe at the thought of people thinking they can will their way into wealth and happiness. If that were the case, there’d be no poor or unhappy people on the planet. Sure you can believe you’ll be a billionaire and you can try to get there by sheer will, but chances are you’ll fail. So then what? Did you fail because of a lack of will? Not at all. And the people selling these ideas - they know it. If you ever see someone peddling a “system” or especially some luring “secret” to success, I can tell you exactly what their secret is: sell mediocre self-help e-books. Other than that, such secrets don’t exist. Be positive, work hard, make the right choices, stay focused… That’s all you’ll learn, and you already knew about those things.

Positive thinking and strong will are fantastic qualities to have, but you can’t rely on them alone. They should be the first step, not the ultimate goal. I played in a rock band in the 1980’s and I knew a lot of guys back then who were absolutely certain they were going to make it big. They dreamed about it. They could taste it, and they were driven by their goals more than any adults in the work force I’ve ever seen. Yet most of those guys struggled for years and years, and eventually gave up and moved onto something else. Some of them are still trying, decades later. You can’t tell me that positive thinking and strong will are enough to make you fulfill your dreams because I’ve seen those qualities - and in people with absolute resolution - and it didn’t get them there.

Now for those of you with a strong will and positive thinking, I suggest adding one more item to your arsenal - and that’s what I call the “inner voice.” It’s simply a conversation with yourself. You’ve probably had hundreds of them already. The only difference is that we are going to consciously do it for a specific purpose. It’s no surprise at this point that I don’t believe in prayer, but I do believe that people who pray have constant conversations with their inner voice, and attribute it to God. They often find the answers they are looking for, but in my opinion they are giving God credit and not themselves. That is fodder for another discussion.

Imagine talking to the most brilliant and qualified psychologist in the entire world - someone who had the ability to help you fix all your problems. What would you say to this person? Remember that a good psychologist will help YOU fix your problems. This person would be objective and ask the tough questions. He’ll play Devil’s Advocate.

So what you’re going to do is go and see this psychiatrist every day, and the great thing is that this doctor is free. Close your eyes and imagine you’re in this psychiatrist’s office. He’ll ask you to tell him what’s on your mind, and off you go.

Hey Doc, I’m really not happy with my job. The problem is, I make pretty good money but I don’t think I could find a job off the street that pays as much as I make now.

What do you think your psychiatrist might say then? He’ll probably ask you another question to get you to think more about it. He might say, “Could you afford to support yourself at a lower salary, doing something you love?”

Think about what you might say there. If the answer is yes, you’ve already helped yourself. You’ve just told me that you can change jobs and take a temporary hit to do something you love. NOW… if you said no, the psychiatrist would probably ask another question. What might he ask? And what might you say?
The only way someone can help you is by asking you questions to make you think about the problem you need addressed. There is no reason you can’t ask yourself these questions.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done this and come out of it with the answers I needed. I believe everyone has the answers to their lives already inside them. When you ask someone for advice, they usually just ask you questions until you discover the answer. So all we’re doing here is internalizing the entire process - and cutting out the middle man if you will… to find the answers we need, that we already have in us. Give this one a try and I know you’ll find it rewarding.

Tags: Self Help

This entry was posted on Monday, March 24th, 2008 at 8:34 am and is filed under Self Help. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.