wafflesatnoon.com

Two years ago if someone had told me I’d ever write about this topic, I would have laughed in their face. I can almost understand the addictive nature of certain video games, such as I discussed in my article about overcoming addiction to the World of Warcraft. Certainly I understand the physiological nature of other addictions such as drugs, alcohol or even sex.

But Myspace?

There are obviously many reasons why people like Myspace, but just as many reasons why people don’t like it. It can be a place to keep your friends and family connected, or it can be a breeding ground for juvenile drama. And pretty much everything in between. What’s most odd about Myspace addiction is that it seems to manifest itself in many wildly different forms. I’ll take a look at a few prominent types.

Romance trolling addiction
Looking to meet that certain someone? Why pay $30 a month to some corporate dating site when you can go Myspace and meet people for free? A lot of people have turned to Myspace instead traditional dating websites. It’s free, and the largest social network out there (And yes I know – Facebook is closing the gap fast). If there’s a date to be found online, there’s no better place to look. The problem is, Myspace is beyond huge and not everyone on there is looking for a date. So it’s a lot of work. I’ve known guys to spend hours upon hours sifting through the hundreds of women that show up in the search results. They’ll go to each woman’s page, look at her pictures, read her profile, and contact the ones he feels are good prospects. Remember that not all of them are even interested in being contacted. So unlike a dating site, where at least the people on there have shown an interest in meeting people, you just never know with Myspace. And often a person is just being nice by responding to their correspondence, and not really interested. But that takes a while to figure out for a lot of people.

It can be a full time job.

So back to our guy trolling for women… Once a few ladies accept his friend requests, he’ll spend even more time attempting to forge some sort of friendship with them while still searching for more ladies to contact.

What’s the problem? First, there’s no guarantee that the woman you see in the pictures is the person you’re actually emailing or talking to. It’s not uncommon for a less attractive woman to “borrow” pictures from a random pretty girl’s page to increase her friend requests. It happens far more than you might think. Second, women are inundated by male friend requests and often give little attention to these guys. There are also concerns about the “creepiness” of meeting someone online. If a girl tells her friends she’s going on a date with a guy she met online, she’ll be pelted with warnings and stories of how every guy meeting women online is a rapist, murderer, or loser.

And the sad news is… if you’ve spent that much time on Myspace, you just might be a loser.

But you’re not alone. At least not online.

Profile Pimping Addiction
Some hardcore Myspace addicts spend countless hours “pimping” their page, which means constantly updating the look and layout of their page. They’ll search for hours for that “perfect” template to apply to their page, then more hours looking for that perfect song. Next, they’ll post a bulletin telling all their friends to see their new layout. Then they’ll focus on posting dozens of pictures, or filling out inane surveys. By the time they’ve done all that, it’s time to find a new look and start the cycle all over again.

The dating scenario above is typical of slightly older guys. This particular scenario leans towards the younger Myspace crowd. A teen’s Myspace page is an extension of their real life social status. They’re concerned with what everyone thinks of their clothes, hair, and of course Myspace page. Nothing gets a profile pimp off more than having someone take notice of their new look.

And a profile pimp will pretty much have a new look every week. Or even more often than that. At some point the desire to keep updating the look of the page becomes a sort of obsession.

Friend Pimps
Whereas a profile pimp is concerned with the appearance of the page, a friend pimp focus more on the sheer volume of friends he has online. Of course a Myspace “friend” isn’t necessarily a friend. Or someone you even know. I used to get friend requests, accept them, never heard from that person at all, and after a few months I’d delete them. I’ve seen individuals – who weren’t even famous – having thousand of Myspace friends.

Seems like they’re compensating for something.

Anyone can have thousands of Myspace friends. It’s hard to say why a Myspace Friend Pimp feels so compelled to add untold people to their friends list. It becomes obsessive because with millions of people online, there is practically no limit to the number of friends one can have. There will always be more prospective friends out there, so the friend pimping becomes a fulltime job.

Overcoming Myspace addiction
This requires the addict to address why they have become hooked in the first place. Social networks are nice because they allow otherwise shy people to reach out and make friends that they otherwise wouldn’t. For some, however, this becomes a crutch. They rely on Myspace or similar social sites to shield them from the issues that brought them there.

How ironic.

Social websites can actually lead some people to becoming less socially adept in the real world. The more “popular” they get online – whether from their profile pimping, volume of friends, or new prospective dates they meet online – the more involved they get with their page, and the less they get out in the real world and interact with others face to face.

It’s not unlike the shy guy who has a few drinks and suddenly has the courage to approach women. Liquid courage. So with Myspace, it’s a sort of Virtual Courage. The lack of direct communication with others allows for a sort of virtual social courage that the user otherwise lacks.

It’s not just how much time an addict spends on Myspace, but how much of their social life it becomes. Do they check Myspace first thing when they wake up in the morning and at night before bed? Do they talk about it when not at the computer? Does it seem that Myspace is the center of this person’s social life, rather than an extension of it?

It’s fine to occasionally change the look of your page, or look for friends or even dates online. It’s when this becomes an overwhelming force in your life that you need to step back and look in the mirror instead of the monitor.

The best way to wean yourself from Myspace is to take steps to deemphasize it. Limit your time on it, only check it once a day, reduce your profile to a bare and basic minimum, unsubscribe to blogs and email notifications.

You should bite the bullet also tell your friends what you’re trying to do. Instead of communicating via Myspace, get their phone numbers or other IM screen name and contact them that way. And don’t set your homepage to Myspace. Bad idea. Set it to something else interesting.

Also you should think about the time you spend on Myspace. Has that brought you any value to your life? Will any of it matter in the long run? What else could you be doing to improve your life and your relationships other than sitting on Myspace, posting bulletins and browsing other people’s pages?

It really can be a huge waste of time.

If you really feel that you want to stop but can’t, there is one sure fire way…

Delete your account and never look back. Don’t hesitate – just do it. Then call a friend and go do something.