April 8th, 2008
Signs You Live With A Meth User
I originally wrote a similar article detailing my 15-year life with a meth user. I have yet to post it. While I still plan to post that at some point, I found it too difficult to publish at this point. If you’ve lived with a meth user, you know how emotionally, physically, and mentally draining it can be. So for the time being, I will compromise with myself and post a more objective description of meth use.I’ve read other sites, and sometimes I get the idea these “experts” have never lived with a meth user through the worst of it. I don’t write this with the expertise of a doctor who has studied patients and run tests.
I lived with a user. For well over a decade. I was married into a family of them. I saw her family and friends all doing it. Through my ordeal I learned to hate the drug, but I also became quite familiar with the signs and the cycle that follows meth use. I may not be an expert at treating it, but I am definitely an expert at spotting it.
If you feel like someone you love may be using meth, I will describe what you might be seeing.
One common denominator of meth use is secrecy. If you’re not a fellow user or supplier, you won’t be privy to the truth of their world. They’ll lie to your face and assume you believe everything they say. Users hide their addictions, deny it, and sometimes even ridicule others for doing it (perhaps to throw us off the scent?).
Just before using, you might sense something is going on. You’ll see unusual behavior, such as disappearing into another room to take a call, going into the bathroom for 20 minutes, running a sudden “errand” that would normally wait (such as running out for milk at 1am when you still have half a gallon in the fridge). You might also see certain “friends” show up for very brief visits, sometimes not even getting out of their car.
If you haven’t been able to translate the above issues – wow you’re slow! No, just kidding. Haha.. They simply mean the meth user is looking for some drugs.
The Deal
A meth user will often go on the hunt for their drug. They’ll disappear to make phone calls, or even drive to their dealer’s house if the can’t contact him. Those are the “errands” they usually run. Or sometimes their dealer might even show up, either having been called or maybe just making a courtesy call to see if the user needs anything.
How thoughtful.
Using
After the deal, the meth user will then go do the deed. It could be in the bathroom or in their car in a nearby field. They might also do it somewhere that is more “meth friendly” than around you, such as at another user’s house. The actual use is very brief – only a few moments.
You might see remnants of the use, such as straws, pieces of tin foil, small bags or pieces of plastic wrap, razor blades, lighters – you get the idea. These things are all standard meth-related items. If the user snorted it, he could be touching his nose often because of the sensation/irritation of sucking it up his nose.
Hey we’re just getting started. This is where you enter the picture and start to see things.
The High
After doing meth, the user will display some very obvious and animated signs. The pupils will be dilated. To me that was always the tip-off. Dilated eyes, even in a bright room, were always immediate and obvious. The skin is warm to the touch and heart is pounding. You will see a mood that is a little bit too happy. And lots of energy. Meth users often get little or no sleep for days after using. They will also display exaggerated or semi-uncontrolled mannerisms, such as constant cleaning, preening, talking, etc., along with uncontrolled twitching or facial tics. During the high, the meth user often lacks an appetite and may go an entire day eating virtually nothing. It’s not uncommon to see them overly productive, such as cleaning or doing repetitive tasks, even in the middle of the night. They might pick at their hair or skin repeatedly. Almost obsessively. When they do sleep, it might be agitated and filled with movement, sweating, talking, laughing, or gibberish. The user may exhibit a heightened sexual arousal. You may even notice that the person has an unusual odor.
So why do meth users want to be this way? They don’t. Those are only the things being externalized. Inside, they are experiencing a sense of euphoria, confidence, and well-being that is far beyond what they feel when sober. They live for the high, and deal with everything else.
Those of us on the outside can’t imagine how it becomes worth it. But it does.
The Plateau
There is a brief period between the high and the crash in which the user begins to shift behavior patters. I call this the Plateau. The high is coming to and end and the user begins to display new symptoms. He begins to slow down. He might still be animated, but in a less energetic state. If he can’t get more meth, he will start to head quickly into the crash.
The Crash (aka “Coming Down”)
When a meth user has exhausted his supply and what he ingested has worked its way through his system, we have the crash. A crashing user might spend several days in bed. He might be asleep the entire time, or is awake but lethargic. He might only getting up to use the restroom or have a quick snack. The worst part of the crash is that it’s typically accompanied by a very agitated and foul demeanor. The user can get violent and display psychotic traits and huge mood swings. Lethargic, irrational, angry, moody, and confused – these are all signs of the crash.
From my perspective, this was by far the worst part. Whereas the user is mostly irritating during the high, he is more likely to focus his crashing ire directly at you. You will likely get sucked into absurd arguments or even find yourself dodging violent behavior.
It can last a few days. A few days of hell.
The Recovery
As the crash wears off, the meth user begins to revert back to his pre-high self. He might even exhibit better than normal behavior.
And just when you think life is back to normal, the cycle soon repeats and the roller coaster ride begins again. It is exhausting and frustrating for the loved ones enduring it.
Though I’ve focused on the short-term signs of meth use, I should point out that there are long-term signs of meth use as well. Weight loss, tooth decay, poor hygiene, increased acne, dry skin, hair loss, mental illness, memory loss, paranoia, depression, and psychosis are all possible. Not all of these are necessarily reversible.
If you suspect someone you love is using meth, you need to get help. If you can’t get help, you need to get out.
Though I am no expert, if you would like to contact me directly about this, feel free to comment or email me at wafflesa@wafflesatnoon.com.
For other articles on addiction, see Overcoming Myspace Addiction and Overcoming Addiction to the World of Warcraft.
April 24th, 2008 at 2:49 am
After reading your article I was greatly enlightened about my son. He had made meth only one time that I know of-and shows the symptoms here described, and also by his actions.
He was clanging in the kitchen at wee hours of the morning not unusual for him since he is has a bipolar disorder….and had became aquainted with the wrong crowd. My daughter found the brown sticky substance in the oven drriper pan, and when she opened the door the toxic substance consumed her eyes and she had a sudden cough for hours..he remarked about it or her “KRUDE”. And once he needed my truck-keys to suddenly go out for cold medicne, he had a cold so he said. This was at 1:00 a.m. And he has had a lover, she is in his life or is it meth? I know he and a few friends bought weed. Now, he loves to smoke cigars, and ciggs, and why does he need plastic? My daughter threw out everything plastic! He hates his sister, and I pray for her protection. He tries to get her in trouble with the Law. Julie avoids him and his actions are extreme highs, lots of energy when he is not taking a nap or watching TV. But, he is mentally sick anyway. Do you have any comments for us?
May 27th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Thank you for your comment Ozelene…
I’ve found that many meth users pick up other addicting habits as well, such as cigarettes and alcohol. Those things, they say, help to ease the crash. I never saw that to be true. The crash was always terrible no matter what. Do the best you can, but remember that you have to protect yourself first. Meth users will suck the life out of those around them, especially people who care for them most. If your son doesn’t get some sort of help, you may want to consider limiting his role in your life. And never let his threats persuade you. Don’t be afraid to call the police. Sometimes being arrested can make a meth user back off the use for at least a while. And he would know you mean business.
I wish you the best with your son.
June 1st, 2009 at 5:48 pm
You state,”I don’t write this with the expertise of a doctor who has studied patients and run tests”. I say you’re right on! My Mother (80yo) lives with and has been taken advantage of by a family of meth addicts, 2 generations! My brother, also among them, is a user. I spotted it right away, but my Mother wouldn’t believe me, because they’re all so ‘nice’. I’ve been trying to get her out of this mess for over a year. I read this article to my Mother and it was enlightening to her. I’ve been trying to get her to move in with my wife and I for a while now. Your article helped her to make that decision. I’ve contacted the police and pertinent agencies to get involved, which turns out to be easier said then done, but still I’m making progress.
Keep up the good work!!!!
September 21st, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Youre dead on, Ive been struggling with someone elses meth addiction for 3 years now. My life has been as consumed by this drug problem as his has. However I would have included that you know when theyre about to go on a binge. I can always see it coming. The restlessness, and picking fights to have a reason to leave, maybe you didnt expierence this because in my situation I got to the point where I felt like it was my job to babysit and make sure it didnt happen again. This never works, it just makes the fighting and lying worse, and has caused me to feel like I dont have a life or purpose outside of trying to save someone from a world that has consumed them. I have become the team to beat, the bad guy, the one that stands between him and what he now deems most important. I am trying to take the next step, I love this person to a depth that is nothing short of insane considering the disregard of how his choices have effected my life. However I no longer believe that I can help him. Switching gears like this is very difficult for me, partly because I have almost completely invest all my time, money, thoughts, and emotions into “fixing this”.Which means that I am dealing with a drastic change, trying to do whats best for me-instead of what I think is best for him. I do believe that I will eventually adjust to this, the question I have for you is how do you cope with wondering if maybe there is more that you can do and worrying about where theyre life will go from here? The last thing I said to him was “theres no part of me that loves you any less, but I give up”.
September 25th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
My family member, well apparently has been doing meth for who knows how long. He said he has completely stopped after getting caught on dui, then police found meth paraphanlia in his car etc. went to jail. he claims jail has frightened him enough and that… he will never do the deed again.
Often I find it hard to believe, sometimes he WILL not bring his cellphone in. me and family members see this as a red flag. we are afraid, whenever we notice something suspicious(found candles under his sink, found a lighter in trash.) we ask him about all these and he claims the lighter was old he threw it out. he claimed that the candles were to steralize a needle to remove something on the skin. its so hard to live this way. we love him, none of us want to live questioning every single move he makes, its terrible. however its him who made us this way, or meth that is.
when asked WHY he would ever do such a thing he claimed, he wanted to be superman he thought he could complete it all with a little kick.
we never are able to see in his vehicle to make sure it is safe. if he says NO. NO. NO. IM DONE. constantly is it time for us to believe him? but how can one just quit so fast. also i notice he sweats a lot.. his physical appearance was shabby before we found all this out, however its better than it was before. we told him that maybe rehab would be smart however he said hes been through enough as is and will stop.
if you have any suggestions on my current situation feel free to comment back… perhaps myself and other family members are to paranoied… its just after finding that someone you love, trust… look up to… has lied to you for so long, getting that back is HORRIBLY difficult.
thank you.
-tired of questioning everything