wafflesatnoon.com

Two years ago if someone had told me I’d ever write about this topic, I would have laughed in their face. I can almost understand the addictive nature of certain video games, such as I discussed in my article about overcoming addiction to the World of Warcraft. Certainly I understand the physiological nature of other addictions such as drugs, alcohol or even sex.

But Myspace?

There are obviously many reasons why people like Myspace, but just as many reasons why people don’t like it. It can be a place to keep your friends and family connected, or it can be a breeding ground for juvenile drama. And pretty much everything in between. What’s most odd about Myspace addiction is that it seems to manifest itself in many wildly different forms. I’ll take a look at a few prominent types.

Romance trolling addiction
Looking to meet that certain someone? Why pay $30 a month to some corporate dating site when you can go Myspace and meet people for free? A lot of people have turned to Myspace instead traditional dating websites. It’s free, and the largest social network out there (And yes I know - Facebook is closing the gap fast). If there’s a date to be found online, there’s no better place to look. The problem is, Myspace is beyond huge and not everyone on there is looking for a date. So it’s a lot of work. I’ve known guys to spend hours upon hours sifting through the hundreds of women that show up in the search results. They’ll go to each woman’s page, look at her pictures, read her profile, and contact the ones he feels are good prospects. Remember that not all of them are even interested in being contacted. So unlike a dating site, where at least the people on there have shown an interest in meeting people, you just never know with Myspace. And often a person is just being nice by responding to their correspondence, and not really interested. But that takes a while to figure out for a lot of people.

It can be a full time job.

So back to our guy trolling for women… Once a few ladies accept his friend requests, he’ll spend even more time attempting to forge some sort of friendship with them while still searching for more ladies to contact.

What’s the problem? First, there’s no guarantee that the woman you see in the pictures is the person you’re actually emailing or talking to. It’s not uncommon for a less attractive woman to “borrow” pictures from a random pretty girl’s page to increase her friend requests. It happens far more than you might think. Second, women are inundated by male friend requests and often give little attention to these guys. There are also concerns about the “creepiness” of meeting someone online. If a girl tells her friends she’s going on a date with a guy she met online, she’ll be pelted with warnings and stories of how every guy meeting women online is a rapist, murderer, or loser.

And the sad news is… if you’ve spent that much time on Myspace, you just might be a loser.

But you’re not alone. At least not online.

Profile Pimping Addiction
Some hardcore Myspace addicts spend countless hours “pimping” their page, which means constantly updating the look and layout of their page. They’ll search for hours for that “perfect” template to apply to their page, then more hours looking for that perfect song. Next, they’ll post a bulletin telling all their friends to see their new layout. Then they’ll focus on posting dozens of pictures, or filling out inane surveys. By the time they’ve done all that, it’s time to find a new look and start the cycle all over again.

The dating scenario above is typical of slightly older guys. This particular scenario leans towards the younger Myspace crowd. A teen’s Myspace page is an extension of their real life social status. They’re concerned with what everyone thinks of their clothes, hair, and of course Myspace page. Nothing gets a profile pimp off more than having someone take notice of their new look.

And a profile pimp will pretty much have a new look every week. Or even more often than that. At some point the desire to keep updating the look of the page becomes a sort of obsession.

Friend Pimps
Whereas a profile pimp is concerned with the appearance of the page, a friend pimp focus more on the sheer volume of friends he has online. Of course a Myspace “friend” isn’t necessarily a friend. Or someone you even know. I used to get friend requests, accept them, never heard from that person at all, and after a few months I’d delete them. I’ve seen individuals - who weren’t even famous - having thousand of Myspace friends.

Seems like they’re compensating for something.

Anyone can have thousands of Myspace friends. It’s hard to say why a Myspace Friend Pimp feels so compelled to add untold people to their friends list. It becomes obsessive because with millions of people online, there is practically no limit to the number of friends one can have. There will always be more prospective friends out there, so the friend pimping becomes a fulltime job.

Overcoming Myspace addiction
This requires the addict to address why they have become hooked in the first place. Social networks are nice because they allow otherwise shy people to reach out and make friends that they otherwise wouldn’t. For some, however, this becomes a crutch. They rely on Myspace or similar social sites to shield them from the issues that brought them there.

How ironic.

Social websites can actually lead some people to becoming less socially adept in the real world. The more “popular” they get online - whether from their profile pimping, volume of friends, or new prospective dates they meet online - the more involved they get with their page, and the less they get out in the real world and interact with others face to face.

It’s not unlike the shy guy who has a few drinks and suddenly has the courage to approach women. Liquid courage. So with Myspace, it’s a sort of Virtual Courage. The lack of direct communication with others allows for a sort of virtual social courage that the user otherwise lacks.

It’s not just how much time an addict spends on Myspace, but how much of their social life it becomes. Do they check Myspace first thing when they wake up in the morning and at night before bed? Do they talk about it when not at the computer? Does it seem that Myspace is the center of this person’s social life, rather than an extension of it?

It’s fine to occasionally change the look of your page, or look for friends or even dates online. It’s when this becomes an overwhelming force in your life that you need to step back and look in the mirror instead of the monitor.

The best way to wean yourself from Myspace is to take steps to deemphasize it. Limit your time on it, only check it once a day, reduce your profile to a bare and basic minimum, unsubscribe to blogs and email notifications.

You should bite the bullet also tell your friends what you’re trying to do. Instead of communicating via Myspace, get their phone numbers or other IM screen name and contact them that way. And don’t set your homepage to Myspace. Bad idea. Set it to something else interesting.

Also you should think about the time you spend on Myspace. Has that brought you any value to your life? Will any of it matter in the long run? What else could you be doing to improve your life and your relationships other than sitting on Myspace, posting bulletins and browsing other people’s pages?

It really can be a huge waste of time.

If you really feel that you want to stop but can’t, there is one sure fire way…

Delete your account and never look back. Don’t hesitate - just do it. Then call a friend and go do something.

If you’ve found yourself at a dead end in your job, you’re not alone. So how do you make the same (or more) money without sacrificing yourself at the same time. Have you read other motivational books or tapes and then get through them only to realize that the essence of what you just read was “Decide what you want and go for it,”? They make it sound so easy, and for some people maybe it is. But if you’re like most people, you feel stuck where you are and really have no easy way to get out. You’re actually lucky to be where you are and can’t afford to take a risk. Many of you have listened to those seminars and they sound so great, but then you go home and you have a mortgage you can barely make, health insurance to pay for - if you’re lucky, a family to support, credit card bills, no money in the bank… Maybe you’ve set a goal of making more money. For the average middle-class worker, that means two options. One is to change jobs. But if you’ve hit a dead end, chances are you spent many years working your way to that position, and can’t really jump ship. I personally worked for 12 years at a job before hitting a dead end with my salary. I knew I couldn’t go get a job somewhere else for the same pay. And it’s not a realistic option for many people. Your other option is to work more hours… at the expense of your family and leisure time. If you do that, you’ll find yourself wanting to work less, despite the money. So many of us get stuck and can’t get out. What do you do?First, you really need to evaluate what you have and the position you’re in. Don’t just sit there and think about it for a minute - really delve into it. If your job bores you to tears, and if you feel you could make the same (or better) salary elsewhere, then it’s definitely in your best interest to look around. But don’t just look around at anything. Think about what you love. Your hobbies and your passions in life. I had a boss who never said much… until I mentioned golf - and then he wouldn’t shut up! Is there something that can really get you to wake up and start talking like that? Is there something that puts a spark in your eye that you feel nearly fanatical about? Chances are the answer is yes. And let me guess - you’re not working a job in this field already, right? If you were working at a job you loved that much, you’d never read a page like this. Well the first thing you need to do is consider all the jobs available to someone who shares a passion like you do. And of those jobs, which ones excite you the most? Which ones make the most money? Is there a business you could start on your own?

Before I go any further, let me share you with a piece of advice given to me over and over again. You’ve probably heard it, too. And that is… It’s far more important have a job you love than to have a job that pays well. If you’ve ever had a job you really disliked, you’ll know why this is important. I once had a job I enjoyed very much, and I got a job offer for double the money somewhere else. The problem was - this job was doing something I knew I’d hate, and it was for a big corporation. That meant wearing a suit and tie and climbing the corporate ladder, and driving in rush-hour traffic both ways. But it was double the money. After thinking about it seriously for awhile, I finally decided to pass on the job offer, and never regretted that decision. The bottom line is that the money isn’t worth it if you’re miserable. And being miserable at work usually means you’re miserable at home. And no amount of money is worth that. Take this one thing to heart - and that is to always work at a job you love, and you will never have to worry about money. If you truly love your job, you’ll be excited about it, and you’ll be rewarded.

Now, if you don’t have a family and you are in a position to take a chance, I say go for it. Set yourself very specific goals and figure out what it will take to reach them - every step of the way. Then put all your energy into reaching that first step. Don’t focus on the final goal - focus your energy on the first step. And then the second, and so on, until you’ve reached your final goal.

Read my blog about setting and achieving goals for more information.

Eating a low-fat diet is a no-brainer if you are keeping your calories in check. A filling 300-calorie meal will almost certainly be low in fat. And let’s not forget that fat is not always a bad thing. Diets rich in monounsaturated fats have produced weight loss. My first diet consisted of a peanut butter sandwich almost every day (who says they’re just for kids?). Peanuts are high in monounsaturated fat, which is part of a healthy diet. Saturated fats are the ones to avoid, and if you notice a food is very high in saturated fat, you should probably limit your intake of that particular food. Oh, and if you want one of those peanut butter sandwiches, hold the jelly and be sure to use whole wheat bread.
Dietary fat can be a tightrope walk. Studies have suggested that as much as 90% of bodyfat comes from dietary fat intake. On the other hand, dietary fat is needed to carry certain vitamins to your body, and helps the to absorb into your system. Dietary fat also supplies you with essential fatty acids, which is not manufactured in your body.

I can hear the complaints… “So now what?” Well carbohydrates are your body’s fuel and protein helps build and maintain lean muscle as well as provides amino acids. Fat has its positive uses, too, but most Western diets consist of far too much dietary fat and calories.

Determine how many calories you need in a day to maintain your weight. The only true way to do this is through trial and error. Divide your daily calories by the number of meals you eat per day, which should be 4 to 6 per day. Then choose your foods wisely. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, along with lean meat, poultry, and pork. These simple foods are the foundation of a successful diet, and it’s almost impossible to fail if you stick with them. They are low in calories and high in nutrients. You’ll feel full without eating more calories than you need. Forget about watching your carbs, as long as you’re not taking in a lot of simple carbs such as sugar.

I’ve always said that if you eat a sensible meal that can fill you without being high in calories, you really don’t have to concern yourself with fat or carbs.  Junk food is usually to high in calories (think fast food burgers that reach 1000 calories) or not filling at all (like candy). If you stick with fruit, vegetables, and lean meat, you really only need to focus on portions rather than fat and carbs.

As obvious as it sounds, there are people who haven’t shaved their heads who might want a few tips before taking the plunge. My bald head has lured quite a few interested guys who needed a little advice before going for it. And not so obviously - there are a few ways to do it.If you don’t mind that “stubble” look, the easiest way by far is to merely grab some shears and simply shave all over your head with no extensions attached (also called shaving it with a “0″ attachment). Again, this will give you a little stubble on top.

If you’re like me and don’t want that receding hairline to show, and prefer that smooth bald look, you’re going to have to get a little closer than those shears will allow.

Time to get out the razor.

Some people prefer disposable razors, while others like having a nicer razor with disposable cartridges. I’ve done both. The results aren’t much different if you get a good disposable razor. I prefer disposables only because the replacement cartridges of nicer razors are really expensive these days.

The first year or so of shaving my head, I would shave my head about once a week. First, I’d use the shears and shave down to a 0, then lather up my head with shaving cream and shave my head over the sink, much like shaving my face. I just found it to be really messy. First you have the intitial hair flying everywhere, then you have all that creamy stubble all over the sink. Then you also have little hairs tumbling down the back of your collar when you’re done.

Before I go on, I should mention that because the hair grows outward from your crown, if you prefer to go against the grain, you’re usually going to be shaving up towards the crown from all sides. I’ve shaved with the grain and simply don’t get a close enough shave (except in the very back).

So back to technique… I like to enjoy the shower, to the point that I stand in there just enjoying the warm water. So much for conservation. But I was getting tired of that messy over-the-sink method of shaving my head, so I tried going in the shower. I realized quickly that shaving cream doesn’t work in the shower. It either gets washed away or kind of “melts” from the steam.

But in the shower, you don’t need it.

I put the area of my head that I’m shaving directly under the water and shave it as the water hits it. Not only does that soothe the area being shaved, but it also removes the hair from the razor as you go. So you don’t have to stop every few seconds to clean out the razor. It’s constantly being flushed out by the water.

Don’t worry about not having a mirror either. You can run your hand along your scalp to feel any areas you missed. Another benefit of shaving in the shower is all of that stubble is cleaned away and not sneaking down your shirt the rest of the day.

After you get out of the shower, take a look in the mirror for any spots you may have missed. I often miss the area just above and behind my ears. Just touch those up with another disposable at the sink.

So I believe that shaving in the shower with the water constantly washing down on your head is the best way to shave. I even shave my face that way now, too. I’ve found that by doing this every day, it’s very easy to manage and keep that smooth look all the time, and not just once a week as it was when I shaving every seven days. Letting it grow for a week takes a long time to shave and can be more painful. Shaving every day or two will make it a quick process and keep your shiny bald head in prime form.