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	<title>wafflesatnoon.com &#187; Satire</title>
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	<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com</link>
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		<title>If GOP Candidates Were Pizzas</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2012/01/07/if-gop-candidates-were-pizzas/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2012/01/07/if-gop-candidates-were-pizzas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:26:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=2124</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The 2012 GOP race is in full swing and now that our beloved Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann have dropped out, we thought we&#8217;d borrow a page from Cain&#8217;s pizza past and see if we could imagine the GOP field as a menu in a pizza parlor. Which of these pizzas appeal to you most?
The Mitt Romney Double-Sided Pizza
The world&#8217;s only 2-sided pizza contains different ingredients on each side, depending on what the customer wants.
The Ron Paul The Anchovy &#8220;Loner&#8221; Pizza
Eating a slice of the Ron Paul pizza will isolate you from the rest of the world, and you&#8217;re completely happy with that. Popular with the younger crowd.
Rick Santorum &#8211; Pizza of the Week
This pizza hasn&#8217;t been tested long enough to have a name yet, but was just rolled out in Iowa to some fanfare.
The Rick Perry White American, Sausage, Pepperoni Pizza, aka WASP
The WASP pizza is popular in Texas.
The ...]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>12 Rick Santorum Anagrams</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2012/01/05/12-rick-santorum-anagrams/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2012/01/05/12-rick-santorum-anagrams/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Jan 2012 20:47:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=2112</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Rick Santorum is the GOP candidate in the spotlight this week, with his sneaky come-from-behind tie in the Iowa caucus. And since &#8220;Rick Santorum&#8221; will likely be hitting the Google search bars heavily for a while, we thought it would be fun to run some anagrams on his name. Anagrams, as you probably know, are formed by re-arranging all of the letters in his name. After sifting through a few thousand results, we came up with our favorites. So here we&#8217;ve compiled for you, our 12 favorite Rick Santorum anagrams, and our half-assed attempt to &#8220;explain&#8221; how each of these phrases might apply to him:
Cranium Stork
Certainly, Rick Santorum will claim that his cranium is the birthplace of many great ideas.
Smack, Riot, Run!
Arguably, this is what he did in Iowa.
Track Minor US
He did keep track of many of the minor counties throughout the US.
Macon IRS Kurt
Some guy in Georgia who works ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2012/01/05/12-rick-santorum-anagrams/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>4 Hidden Benefits of Erectile Dysfunction</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/12/29/4-hidden-benefits-of-erectile-dysfunction/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/12/29/4-hidden-benefits-of-erectile-dysfunction/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:35:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=2083</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hey every guy gets it sometime. A little performance anxiety never hurt anyone. Much. OK, it actually sucks. But let&#8217;s look at the silver lining for a moment, or at least create a silver lining. There are benefits to E.D. Instead of crying over milk you can&#8217;t quite spill, let&#8217;s laugh for a moment about the lighter side of E.D.
Disease-Smazeeze.
Just think of all those nasty, disease-infected women you&#8217;re not sleeping with. The biggest gift ED can bring us is the inability to make that bad decision when it&#8217;s game time. If it weren&#8217;t for performance anxiety, I&#8217;d probably be shriveled up in a gutter and missing my left nut by now.
Temporarily Healthy
When I learned that ED could be circulatory-related, I started looking at my diet. I read all sorts of things that said I&#8217;d have less sexual issues if I kept myself as healthy as possible. I started popping vitamins, working out ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/12/29/4-hidden-benefits-of-erectile-dysfunction/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>5 Reasons to be a Douchebag</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/12/28/5-reasons-to-be-a-douchebag/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/12/28/5-reasons-to-be-a-douchebag/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Dec 2011 18:38:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=2076</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The modern douchebag in no way resembles the douchebag of years past. It is an honor to hold the title of Douchebag in modern America. And for those of you considering the jump to the dark side, consider some reasons why you should make take the plunge. Remember &#8211; and this is most important &#8211; that being a Douchebag is a state of mind more than anything else. It&#8217;s not really what others think of you, it&#8217;s what you think of yourself. The things you perceive in the world around you are based on your own bias and ego, and not on the opinions of others. So, for example, if you think she likes you &#8211; she likes you. Get it?

Women Adore You
Who wouldn&#8217;t adore us? We&#8217;re virile, handsome, fun, interesting, and ripped.  Our machismo makes them feel protected and feminine. They&#8217;re tired of wimpy guys paying them compliments and agreeing ...]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>8 Newt Gingrich Lookalikes</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/12/08/8-newt-gingrich-lookalikes/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/12/08/8-newt-gingrich-lookalikes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Dec 2011 18:02:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=1979</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As Newt Gingrich takes the lead in the Republican presidential race, his face has been plastered all over the nightly news. All this Gingrich face time begs the question of who looks like Newt Gingrich? We&#8217;ve pored over every gray-haired bespectacled celebrity and politician we could think of to come up with the following list. The problem is where do you stop? There have been so many chubby, gray haired men with glasses through the ages that narrowing the list down becomes a much larger task than finding those to include. We&#8217;ve done our best, but alas, there are many who didn&#8217;t make the list. It&#8217;s all in fun people, so don&#8217;t get offended! So without further adieu, here are our Top 8 Newt Gingrich Lookalikes.
#8 &#8211; The Gray-Haired Lego Guy
As silly as it seems, a quick glance of the gray-haired lego man looks as if a Lego Newt Gingrich has been ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/12/08/8-newt-gingrich-lookalikes/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Funny Product: Because Sliding it 6 Inches is Too Hard</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/11/07/funny-product-because-sliding-it-6-inches-is-too-hard/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/11/07/funny-product-because-sliding-it-6-inches-is-too-hard/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Nov 2011 16:49:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funny Products]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=1771</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One certainty is sure to occur with the arrival of the holiday season: the marketing of a slew of dumb, useless, and funny products that weren&#8217;t intended to be funny. My favorite such product of late is the &#8220;Handy Caddy&#8221; which allows you to slide your coffee maker to the front of the counter. Let&#8217;s take a look at the product description:
Just slide the caddy forward for easy access to your appliances 
Slide it back so it is out of your way 
Easily cleaned with a damp cloth or sponge and is dishwasher safe 
Tired of rearranging your counter to access your coffeemaker, blender, and other appliances? Start your day on a roll.
This thing takes uselessness to a new level. I&#8217;m not sure why anyone would need a &#8220;caddy&#8221; in order to merely slide a coffee maker 6 inches forward. It&#8217;s also not clear how this avoids any clutter as you&#8217;ll still be ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/11/07/funny-product-because-sliding-it-6-inches-is-too-hard/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Kris Humphries Sims Laugh</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/10/22/the-kris-humphries-sims-laugh/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/10/22/the-kris-humphries-sims-laugh/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 23 Oct 2011 03:54:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=1605</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Kris Humphries, aka Mr. Kim Kardashian, is already being spotted without his wedding ring and sites such as AOLTV.com are reporting that their sources claim the marriage is essentially over resulting in Kim&#8217;s agent dropping Kris. We&#8217;re not so sure&#8230; Say it ain&#8217;t so Kris! Regardless of the marital status, our beloved Kris Humphries can live on in games such as the Sims 3.
And for gamers who love the Sims, the thought of a Kris Humphries Sims voice is just too irresistible to be ignored. The video below is a good candidate for how Humphries&#8217; voice may sound in the game.


]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Google Asks and Answers the World&#8217;s Most Burning Questions</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/09/29/google-asks-and-answers-the-worlds-most-burning-questions/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/09/29/google-asks-and-answers-the-worlds-most-burning-questions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Sep 2011 15:52:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Internet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[google]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[questions]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=1325</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The world turns to Google when it has a question. But what are the most burning questions in the world right now? Since we&#8217;re taught in English class to ask who, what, where, when, why, and how, also known as the 5 W&#8217;s (apparently with &#8220;how&#8221; tossed in for good measure), I decided that this is how I would determine the most asked questions on the internet today. I started typing each query and let Google suggest the rest. The first result for each question is below, and I&#8217;ve attempted to answer each one as best as I can. So without further delay, here are the most sought-after questions and answers on the internet today (9/29/11). Note that this will no doubt change soon after 9/29, so flaming comments saying this info is wrong will only make you look like an idiot.

Who is&#8230;
&#8220;A&#8221; in Pretty Little Liars?
The answer is apparently Mona ...]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2011/09/29/google-asks-and-answers-the-worlds-most-burning-questions/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Prophecy on Obama&#8217;s Face</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2009/01/15/prophecy-on-obamas-face/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2009/01/15/prophecy-on-obamas-face/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Jan 2009 23:00:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=166</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Is there a secret prophecy on Barack Obama&#8217;s face? Simple contrast enhancement to a photo of Obama clearly reveals the image of a mushroom cloud.
I wonder if you lined up the freckles on his face if it would spell &#8220;IRAN IS NEXT.&#8221;

]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2009/01/15/prophecy-on-obamas-face/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Nostradamus 101: Steps to Becoming a Prophet</title>
		<link>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2009/01/14/nostradamus-101-steps-to-becoming-a-prophet/</link>
		<comments>http://wafflesatnoon.com/2009/01/14/nostradamus-101-steps-to-becoming-a-prophet/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jan 2009 20:53:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>waffles</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://wafflesatnoon.com/?p=152</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So you want to be the next great psychic? Well in this one article, I will show you how to become &#8220;psychic&#8221; with the ability to forecast all of the major events coming up in the near future. Not convinced? I&#8217;m quite certain that all of today&#8217;s top psychics use every one of these steps to make their predictions.

Step 1. Be vague but sound specific, and predict what you know will happen.
This is the foundation of any great psychic. You need to sound like you are actually onto something. At some point you will be &#8220;right&#8221; with this information.
For general prophecy, you might say:
 In the Year of the Zero, there will be a great earthquake.
There are earthquakes almost daily on the planet, so at some point you&#8217;ll be right. Even if there&#8217;s a medium tremor somewhere, you &#8220;predicted&#8221; it. In this example, every year between 2000 and 2009 could ...]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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