The Coke C2 and Coke Zero Conspiracy Revealed

C2 Coke … A ghost town in the soda world. It was highly promoted, and adored by its supporters. Why did this products disappear so soon after launch? The “official” explanation is that the market didn’t justify it and sales were flat.

But are those the real reasons?

Further investigation reveals much more sinister reasons behind the demise of this beloved drink.

Let’s look at Coke’s C2, which was introduced and highly publicized in 2004. It was essentially half regular Coke and half diet coke, at 70 calories and several different sweeteners. It arrived amid the low-carb craze, and was heavily promoted. On television, the song “I Want to Break Free” by Queen was used in commercials, while “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by the Rolling Stones was used in radio ads.

Let’s first examine the use of “I Want to Break Free” by Queen. If one looks back to the original song, from 1984, we find a comical spoof in which the members of the band are dressed as women. Images of Freddy Mercury vacuuming in drag are indelible. Good for a laugh, and perhaps the words might mean breaking free of traditional soda, right? Read on.

Moving on to the lyrics, we find “I don’t need you/I’ve got to break free/God knows I want to break free.” Without the humorous facade, these words cry out. They imply an imprisonment of sorts. Not necessarily a physical incarceration, but somehow being controlled emotionally and mentally. Combine the words with men doing housework and wearing women’s clothing and we can easily conclude that the song implies breaking free of male role modeling.

What does this have to do with C2? Allow the lenses to turn a little more as it comes into focus.

In the 1969 Rolling Stones song, we find the lyrics directly mention soda… “And man did he look pretty ill/We decided we would have a soda, my favorite flavor… Yeah and he said one word to me, and that was “dead.”

Notice the words “soda” and “dead” are juxtaposed.

In this song, Mick Jagger is using soda as for medicinal reasons, within the framework of a song that proclaims we rarely get the things we want in life. In a radio commercial, we connect NOT getting what we want with soda. Soda becomes the “cure” just out of our reach.

The amount of time between the time the Rolling Stones song was released and the Queen song’s release was 15 years. The gap between the release of the Queen song and C2 was 20 years, 5 more years that the Stones/Queen gap.

Freddy Mercury was would have been 58 years old when C2 was released, while Mick Jagger was 61… a 3 year difference. You can see how the numbers all line up. 3-5-15. There is a symmetry… almost a trinity of sorts.

“Queen” implies being high and uplifted, while “rolling” implies downward movement. The Queen ad was on TV, while the Stones ad was on radio. With the high Queen, you could see, but with the downward-moving Stones ad, you were blind.

In advertising alone, Coke was merely setting the stage, much the way a boxer sets up his knockout punch with a couple of simple jabs.

Coke knew this soda would fail. It was already planned. Coke knew that there would be a market for low calorie sodas with a male audience in mind. In fact Coke Zero was waiting in the wings for C2’s demise. It was part of a huge plan. If you give a child a toy and then take it away, they’re going to want it even more. Such is the case with men and low-calorie sodas. The half-calorie C2 was a stepping stone to get men to drink fully diet soda. Coke Zero ‘happened’ to arrive only a year later.

On June 1, 2004 E. Neville Isdell became the CEO of The Coca-Cola Company. 6 days later C2 was released in the United States. This was no coincidence. Mr. Isdell is a member of the Corporate Advisory Board of the Global Business Coalition on HIV/AIDS, which no doubt has a political agenda. Further, he is a trustee for Emory University, whose “unofficial mascot” is Dooley, a skeleton dressed in black. Dooley roams the campus with a limp and lets students out of class. Former President Jimmy Carter and the Dali Lama are also associated with this university.

Putting all of this information yields an ominous and ingenious plot.

C2 was created to fail, which itself created a greater demand for the product. Coke responded by creating Coke Zero, which was heavily marketed to males, which had already been drawn in by C2.

In terms of C2, images of the vacuum and the deceased gay legend in drag were not by chance. Subliminal messages were being sent to male viewers.

Isdell has a hand in the AIDS political fire. He is associated with a benevolent skeleton at Emory. He’s telling us it’s OK to be immasculine and to break free of traditional male stereotypes. It’s OK to not always get what you want.

Like children.

But Coke will give you the diet soda you want, and you can drink as much as you want without any repercussions.

Studies of artificial sweeteners have shown them to cause cancer and raise levels of impotence in males. Females have been drinking it for years, but the beverage companies have been slow to reel men in.

The meteoric rise in prescriptions of Ritalin for disturbed children is a direct result of artificial sweeteners, and this itself is part of the plan. Women have been on the bandwagon for years, but it was time to get the men in on it.

Create hidden health problems, and market the “cure” all in the same can. And with men, for the first time, we can now actually limit the population explosion and increase the health care industry all at once.

C2 was a brilliant and sinister product, for political reasons. Health care, population control, and mind control were all at work with the C2-Coke Zero shell game.

Did you ever think that Coke Zero means zero calories?

Think again.

Coke Zero = zero population growth.

And one final note… this is satire! All of the facts are real, but all of my conclusions are presented in a cynical Art Bell narrative.